Warning:

Today's post(s) may contain graphic (some might say "intimate") descriptions of events (and anatomy), and may not be suitable for all readers. Some things, once known, cannot be un-known ;P

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Monday 25 April 2011

The Bane of My Existence

Okay, after all the gross stuff I've shared, this might seem minimal - but for me, it's the worst. All the other stuff is either temporary or at least concealed beneath your clothes! But the mask of pregnancy is right out there for everyone to see.

Technically called
Chloasma or Melasma, the mask appeared on my forehead, and around my eyes (like a mask) in the form of areas of darker pigmentation. At first, it just looked like a tan. But it quickly became more prominent, leaving the unaffected skin closest to my eyes looking strikingly pale, and the darker patched kind of dirty! It made me really self-conscious, so I was extra pissed when my husband so sensitively asked if I'd used "that self tanner again", because it looked "reeeally bad". Why thank you.

Since I wasn't expecting it and didn't put it together as a pregnancy-related condition for a while, I didn't take any precautions against it. It was summer, it was hot, I was out, loving the rays. NOW I don't leave the house without SPF 100 on my face!

Unlike the ugly linea nigra, the mask doesn't go away on its own! Google it (or click one of the links above), and a doctor will till you it will fade after a couple months post-partum - and maybe it does FADE - but that is not enough! I have now had 4 incredibly painful (think: someone snapping a fat elastic band against your face about 1000 times), and even more incredibly expensive (about $400 a pop) laser treatments on it, and although most people don't notice it now, I still do!

That's not even the worst part. The worst is that, once you've been affected by it, you will always be more prone to it. So any sun exposure increases its reappearance, as well as any increase in certain hormone levels. When I went back on the Pill, the worst of the pigmented areas became more noticeable right away. And the next time I'm pregnant, it will be back with a vengeance :(

My midwife, family doctor, dermatologist, and many random Internet sites told me this condition is very common and affects 80% of pregnant women - but I don't know where these sisters-in-misery live, because I have never seen a one! my esthetician told me she knew one woman whose neck turned black from it, but I don't know about that one... And an almost-due pregnant friend told me the mask had finally made an appearance on her forehead, but I saw her last week and didn't see anything - I think she was afraid my envy of her near-perfect pregnancy might consume me if she didn't come up with something! :p (Just kidding, friend - and good luck! (She's in early labour as I write this!))

Anyhow, doesn't seem like much, right? But if you've experienced it, you feel my pain (vain pain, but pain nonetheless!). So tell me...what was the worst part of your pregnancy? Or if you haven't gone down that road yet, what do you most fear? (Obviously, lost babies and sick babies and so on are much, much more terrible - but I want to keep this light, so let's stick to physical unpleasantries!)

10 comments:

  1. Alright...I'll be brave and make the first comment! :) It wasn't a HORRIBLE physical experience I guess, but how shocking is it to wake up one morning about 4-5 months pregnant, look in the mirror and say, "Oh my God, whose big, brown nipples are those???!!" Luckily, the areolas GRADUALLY fade, but it's still pretty funny to see yourself naked like that.

    PS--entertaining blog so far! This is the first blog I've followed--thanks Ashley!

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  2. Ha ha! That's amazing! :) How about the first time you saw your nipple pop out of your kid's mouth, and it looked NOTHING like it did going in??? I forgot this, but I got the areola darkening (although mine had a hint of purple, rather than brown, I'd say), but then I ALSO got fading! They were like bullseyes: purple aroudn the outside and purple in the centres, but with pale, faded areas immediately around the nipple! I swear he sucked the colour out of them! But yes, they DO go back (mostly) ;) I want to add one more thing, because I don't think this friend will post it herself: I know a girl who refered to HER nipples as "National Geographic Breasts" - and they were (she showed me in an alleyway outside a restaurant once)! Man, Mother Nature plays some cruel tricks on pregnant women! Really knocks teh vanity right out of you, huh? (But that comes back, too :P)

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  3. You make me laugh! I definitely agree about the nipple coming out of baby's mouth looking different! How about how it looks when using the breast pump? yikes!

    Anyways, the worst thing about my pregnancy I would say were the headaches/migraines. I had so many of them, it was horrible!!

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  4. PS: I just realized I have a google account so I am now showing up as a follower ;)

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  5. Oh man, if my friend Krista reads this, she can tell you about her experience of seeing my boobs hooked up to the double breast pump unexpectedly! And yes, they look SOO weird after! Barf.

    I actually had relief of my migraines while pregnant (except for one)! That's too bad :( The inability to take serious drugs while pregnant is infuriating - what a lifestyle change! :P

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  6. Worst part for me? (I did have a perfect, no pain, no stretch mark, etc pregnancy...sorry Ash) But...I did have a crazy overactive libido and sadly no one to share it with LOL. And really, a guy who'd want to date a single pregnant chick? Weird! - Kelda

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  7. Hey - it happens in the movies... :P And yeah...the libido...oh man...got me into some trouble, too :s

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  8. Yea damn the libido. That was a bit tortuous given the lack of having someone to share it with (see my other comment where I say we should start a club.). But the other shitty physical symptom was the increased "juiciness" as I liked to call it. Being the height of summer, wearing dresses, and doing alot of walking around, I got what I called Diaper rash on my legs where they rubbed on my perpetually wet underwear. ohhh my goood soo uncomfortable! I ended up waddling around to prevent any skin-to-underwear contact. My friend who was also pregnant at the time had the same problem!

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  9. Mmhmm...forgot about that - yes, "juicy" (although saying that kinda makes me wanna barf). Can't say it was to the extent of discomfort, but I started wearing panty liners for that reason :s

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